I’ve been feeling unable to write something recently my readers will appreciate. I always want my writing to be full of thrills and good times or offer some insight to what I’ve learned traveling for the past 8 months. However, my mind has been hit by a bit of a road block over this last month and I’m searching for the right idea in my head for a subject to write about.
The more I think about it the more the thoughts flourish in my head of my inability to find something that will makes sense to me before I begin to put it down on digital paper. On top of that, I’ve been growing ever more frustrated by an extremely painful intercostal muscle (rib muscle) injury which has prevented me from surfing for three weeks and has me potentially sidelined for another 2-4 weeks. Through 25+ years of athletic competition in my life I’ve never felt as strong a pain last for such a long period of time. The physical pain is starting to cause mental anguish because I like to be a physically active human and this sort of injury prevents any form of that.
So, this particular writing is going to peer into my thought processes right now. Welcome to an open book called my mind. Imagine you’re on The Magic School Bus from those science cartoons I grew up watching in school.
About four years ago sitting on the couch with my older brother and friend J-A-Caesar I was talking to them about investing $10,000 or $20,000 in the Bitcoin when the owner of the Silk Road network (a black market, e-commerce network you could buy just about anything, legal or illegal, without identifying yourself) was busted by the FBI. At the time, the Bitcoin price dramatically dropped to about $100 per share.
I read up online that night about the technology of Bitcoin and I was sold on the idea. “I am investing tomorrow.” I thought it would be a simple get online point-and-click investment purchase, unfortunately to my dismay it was not the wonderful. I had to sign up for this and that before I could make the purchase. Needless to say, I thought it was a pain in the butt, got sidetracked and gave up on making the investment. Had I invested $10,000 which was going to be my bare minimum investment my Bitcoin investment would be valued around $1.7 million today. Had I invested $20,000 I would have about $3.4 million. A stupid, lazy mistake in regard to having to jump through hoops to purchase the Bitcoin has turned into major financial blunder on my end. The FUCKING “what ifs” that run through my head now are comical.
I know… everyone has a Bitcoin, Apple or Microsoft I should have invested story and I’d be rich today. I’m more interested in exploring the mental “brain fart” as my dad would say of not motivating myself enough to complete the transaction after not being as easy as I imagined. I keep replaying in my head that if I don’t write down my thoughts and share them I could be making the same mental brain fart I did about Bitcoin.
For most of my life I’ve always been pretty good about following my intuition and making decisions without over thinking. The old “trust your gut” saying is sort of a motto I’ve always reveled in to make decisions. I never really cared for the advice “think before you do or talk.” Not that it is wrong or can’t be helpful, but I always found making decisions on a whim and with the first thought in my mind was more natural and rewarding for me. If I thought things through it seemed I found myself regretting not believing in my original instinct. Doesn’t make sense for the No Regrets Traveler to have regrets (brownie points for referring to myself in the 3rd person)!
Don’t get me wrong. At times, there are things that need to be thought through in life, but I think we do ourselves a huge disservice by stopping and thinking in many circumstances. The mind is a powerful mechanism that can be a weapon we use against ourselves as much as it can be a tool to help us. I know I’ve use my brain to talk myself out of more than a few great decisions or bend the information so that I don’t believe my initial gut feeling.
In light of the approaching new year I’m going to make sure I focus 2018 on continuing to follow the whims inside my heart. If a roadblock pops up that slows me down or makes it harder than I expected I’m not going to let myself get diverted into taking another path. I’m going to follow my initial desire and go chase it down. After all, I finally got out of the road block in head this year and followed my dreams of taking a year to live outside of the USA. Thus far, I don’t have any regrets…. except not stretching my ribs enough before surfing! Getting old sucks, it’s a reminder to go live life while I can.